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Dowry: an unbeatable social disease

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For the last few decades, we are starving to get rid from the curse of a social disease named dowry. It is a matter of great regret that we frequently saw the news of the effectiveness of dowry on daily newspapers. Most of the victims of these published news are the poor or from the working Class Peoples. Does this news prove that the middle and upper class people are now free from this curse? Before answering this question I would like to write two cases studies-

Case study-1: Rekha’s (anonym) maternal uncle brought a good bridegroom proposal for her in 1994. Her engagement was accomplished as there were no demands from groom’s family. But after the engagement, groom’s elder brother demanded a motor bike to ensure self-esteem of groom. Rekha’s father rejected that demand. Then groom’s brother asked him to give the bike instead of some furniture and it would save their dignity! At last Rekha’s father forcedly gifted a motor bike along with other utensils so that the bridegroom would not be dispossessed and handed over his daughter for the sake of saving social dignity and the pressure from his relatives as well. But, how much difficult their hunger is! He is feeling their rogue to the backbone till now.

Case study-2: A good groom, having an M S degree from a reputed public university, sent a proposal to marry Raboti (anonym). Knowing the good results, possibility of obtaining foreign degree and thinking the bright future of the groom, Raboti’s father became overwhelmed. Groom’s father demanded Tk. 1million from bride’s father as dowry. Raboti’s father any how managed this amount and completed the pledge to buy this educated (!) groom for his daughter. But Raboti could not find any relief from this relationship. She always thinks how her father will manage the similar amount of dowry to make marry her younger sisters. It became a regular matter of her obsession.

Though these two incidents are from two different religious faiths and happened within over one epoch of time span, I don’t see any difference between these two incidents based on their quality. I am very much ashamed for the second case study as I graduated from a public University and I am equally embarrassed as man for the man in the first case whose self-esteem lies behind a bike for dowry. Someone might point out that the incident from the university graduate is a discrete incident and it is hardly found one among 1000 students. I will say it a great regret if one, out of 10000 graduates, demands dowry in their marriage. University authority should think the cancellation of their degree awarded to them if they find any similar compliant with appropriate evidences. To continue the conjugal life with such man (!) there are a significant number of Rekha and Raboti’s who are facing new fashioned dowry day-to-day. Most of them might arrange extra special dowries created by clever brain of their so called husband. Even they are ignorant that whether there is any other way except death to rescue them from this life full of curse from modern dowry.

Every daughter is princess to their father. Please hand over this princess to whom who keeps her as queen depending on his ability. If you hand over your princess to such a prince for whom you have to build up a castle then keep in mind that prince might be any creature but he is not a man. So, before hand over your daughter, think again whether you give your daughter to a man or a hyena in outlook of a man. Because man never tries to establish himself on father in laws wealth even though it is shameful for him to do so by using idle money of his father. The entity man who introduces himself by his name and try to perform all of his responsibilities with earning money by his hard work.

Therefore, if you are confirmed whether bride is a man or not before handing your daughter to him, it might beat this unbeatable disease from our society.

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