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A small reflection from the Global Peace and Unity (GPU)Exhibition

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There were thousands of Muslims at the Islam Channel organised GPU last weekend. While I was standing at the Barefoot Institute's stall in the exhibition area the number brothers who approached me for help in finding them second or third wives was simply staggering. Barefoot Institute supports Muslim relationships but polygamy was a different matter! 

I probed many of these brothers to ascertain the real motivations and reasons behind their desire to be in a polygamous marriage. The most common reason for many was that they were unhappy in their existing relationship. In my view sexual frustration coupled with poor emotional intelligence are the biggest problems for some of these men. They were naive and foolish if they thought their marital troubles would be solved if they married another woman. It is more likely that the real trouble makers in such relationships were these men and when they would take a second wife they would take the same troubles with them. Instead of changing their behaviour and outlook they prefer to behave like bafoons, remain self centred, egotistical and shortsighted. 

In Islam polygamy is a sociological solution given by God to ensure the most disadvantaged and vulnerable in the society find love, protection and an opportunity to start a family of their own. In some societies where many women are abused and left to prostitution to have the most basic provisions for themselves. The verse of the Quran that permits the polygamy encourages people who are able to afford the emotional and financial justice between the wives to be magnanimous and marry from the destitute and orphaned women, of course with their full consent. Marriage would instantly provide them an extremely stable social position and protection. However many men have reduced this Divine instruction to a means to realising their sexual fantasies. 

Several sisters and parents complained to me at the GPU about the manner in which some of those brothers were out there hunting for their second wives. They were staring at women and making women feel undignified and objects of desire. This was an Islamic family event and anyone who came to this event with twisted and sick attitude really need to remember that God is watching them and is aware of their true intentions. I had a mother who complained to me about a man who was proposing to her 15 year old girl. He was told that the girl was only 15 and he should be ashamed of himself but shamelessly he pestered. These sick brothers need their head checked and reported to the police in my view. 

Some brothers were complaining that the sisters were causing fitna (temptations) at GPU. This is totally rubbish and far away from the truth. I place the root of sexual fitna squarely on some men. Sisters are victims of it most of the time. The sisters were happily enjoying the family festive environment the GPU attempted to provide. I agree that there were a lot of organisational failures but the solution isn't to condemn our sisters, shut down GPU or segregate GPU into one for men and one for women. The real solution is to educate our men to be sexually responsible and attain sexual piety (taqwa), and the married men who are looking for second wife should be sent to therapy for healing their pains of the existing marriage. 

God has intended men and women to be protectors of one another and be like the garment that creates a safe, protective and tanquil space for their personal and collective spiritual, emotional and physical growth.

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